Wrestling with contentment

Off the top of my head, I could define contentment as being satisfied, complete, not lacking or wanting anything else. Fully satisfied sounds like a good description. And in such a phrasing it sounds great! Don’t we all want this? Do we all have this?

For me, it seems that I am in a constant wrestling match with contentment...desiring to be content because I know that godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6) and that Jesus has given me all things, so why in the world or heaven would I not be content in His amazing love and enjoy life with Him! Exactly – good point! I desire that great gain, that enjoyment that Christ came to give us, and above all I want to please my Father in heaven. I also desire the peace that accompanies contentment....a rest of spirit and soul – a settledness.  Ahhh – sounds perfect and it is indeed great gain. When we can cease striving, or when we are still, and know that He in fact is God, and I in truth, that we are not!! A great definition of freedom.

And right about the time that I am basking in the fruit of contentment (peace, rest, joy, love, gain) there rises this desire for change, for more, to let go of the old and reach for what is to come. So contentment quickly becomes discontentment and then a hunger for more. The wrestling match begins.

I go from enjoyment to dissatisfaction, knowing that there is something great on its way. The process of God bringing us to that new something great, however is where there is a battle within me. Wanting to maintain a content heart and not become unthankful for what He has done and given, it can become hard to let go and give what we have in order to return to the state of being empty handed before our Amazing Daddy, in order to receive the gifts and treasures that He wants to put into our hearts and hands.

Right about the time that I am able to put down the people and things that I have gained a contentment and satisfaction with and simply surrender, a grace comes to embrace the new and a new contentment begins to grow. But that is just it – contentment must GROW. As we are thankful and we continue to receive from God and recognize His working in our lives, contentment grows...and then when it grows to the point of change, a holy discontent arises, giving way for us to desire the new things in store. Yet I believe the even when we are in a place that we need to let go, and seemingly shed our contentment, God allows the fruit of contentment to compound in our lives and as we choose the right response to change it seems as though we lose our past contentment, but really the new contentment is added to our past measure.  Contentment is the fruit of our response to the circumstances of life, which is rooted in the state of our hearts.

I suppose that the wrestling match is resolved when we give up to the grace of God and go with His flow! When discontentment is recognized as a part of the growth of lasting, compounding contentment.  As I can see now, it is not a new story or prescription from Jesus – if we give it away, it will come back to us; if we lose our lives for His sake and the sake of the Gospel, we will gain live. God help us to receive the grace for the new and unknown, the things we have yet to see,  that will cause more godly contentment to grow in our hearts.

The Bridge and other thoughts

So...I have been home in Ontario for almost 9 weeks....and I have three more weeks until I go. The time has been very special, very precious and very different! I am realizing that being a bridge sometimes hurts....and rightly so. Bridges get walked on, things get transported over bridges, there is pressure, there is wear and tear...but bridges are build to last. They are built to withstand floods, they are build to bear the burden of those heavy loads, until they cross over to the other side. Bridges are build to connect, to increase communication, to increase traffic and accessibility to all sorts of things. Thank God for bridges and really thank God for the strength He gives bridges to exist. Another revelation and some of you might laugh who have heard me say this....I realize that to be a bridge is to be transition!!! Ha ha ha! Bridges are transition - they are the point in between that connects to fixed points!! So all this time, when I have said, "transition is my middle name"...actually my middle name is renee, which means reborn!!, it is pretty true from a heavenly perspective!

It has been unique to be back at home and almost "slide" right in to a role and perception of the dear friends and family here and see God do mighty things in such a short time. (obviously I understand He was working all the time, I just get to jump in and celebrate the victories God brings while I am present!!!) Lives brought back into right relationship with God. People receiving greater healing in their hearts and lives. Others being conformed into Jesus' image through discipleship and simply through loving, meaningful relationships. People identifying their dreams and visions from the heart of God and then going after it! AHHHHH!!!  I love the body of Christ and I love loving God's people - what an honour it is to be in His family!!!

Time is so valuable. Time with people with open hearts to love and hear and give and receive is valuable. Action and words that show our faith-filled belief in others is what Jesus loves!!! And it causes people to thrive and flourish in their God give gifts and talents! And it allows us to enter into greater love and freedom in Christ as we freely give away the love, faith and care that Jesus so freely gives to us!

What an exciting time it has been. And also a trying time. A time to fight in the unseen to attain and maintain the peace of God as various things have come against me pursuing obedience to God's word to me.

As I feel the winds of the Spirit of God stir me up to get ready to go away on assignment again, all the emotions and experience of a continued transition come along with it! Yet, in the midst of the pressure, of the temptation to compare and desire a life that God didn't make for me that I see others living with the grace and joy God has given them to live it with, I have a brooding excitement and renewed longing for the new adventures God has planned. I feel the awe of walking with Jesus into new places and into new and deeper relationships with people of other cultures, nations and lands starting to ignite my soul.

I was made for this. For adventure with God and others. For the glory of Jesus to be seen and seeded throughout the nations of the earth! And how awesome and wonderful is it that in this life God has given us, He can actually do that....through normal means like teaching English, prayer and intercession, worship and praise, declaring His word.....simple obedience! Only God is that good and He loves us so much that He brings us along for the ride!! And He builds us into what He designed, in my case and one of His purposes for me...a bridge builder and then the bridge itself!

Jesus is the greatest and most powerful bridge of all times...so I guess I have been grafted into His pre-existant bridge...What an amazing engineer our Father is!

The Joy in the Harvest - Update from Ukraine Outreach

“These things have I spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.”                                                                                                                                 ~ Jesus of Nazareth - John 15:11

TERNOPIL OUTREACH TEAM - 2011 

Dear family and friends J

We are well into 2011....and here in Ukraine we have had the privilege of celebrating Christmas and New Year twice, along with other extended holidays in the country! We have joked that in Ukraine, the Christmas season will never end. If you can believe it we have had out Christmas tree up from the beginning of November and it is still up! For me this is a personal all time record – ha ha ha ha!

Here is a brief update from what the Lord has been doing in our midst in Ternopil, Ukraine.  Please also check out the photo links to see more photos and the blog link to read more in-depth on some of the topics.

Our Team – Just the other day we said “Good-bye” to Venera, our outreach team member from Kazhekstan. She returned to her DTS in Lutsk to have their week of debriefing and then she will return to her home country. We are now adjusting to our team being four of us. We have certainly gone through some good challenges in our relationships of team life, but we are reminded that having conflict forces us to work on our “stuff” and to submit ourselves to God and humble ourselves before one another. Conflict forces intimacy J - a lesson well learned this Discipleship Training School!

It has also been a huge learning curve for me to be in a team with two wonderful people who have come from Muslim nations and backgrounds. We are learning to love one another in Jesus’ grace and I am gaining a compassion and understanding for the people of these nations and the way that they think, express themselves and relate.

Kids Camp – The ESL Bible Classes have taken off! After running a Camp during Christmas break with a faithful 15 -16 kids that came we continued to have classes on Saturdays because the kids enjoyed it so much! Just last Saturday we had 24 kids come, 4 of whom were new to the classes! We are together for 2 ½ hours each Saturday and we play games, sing songs and learn Bible lessons all in English...and the fun part...then we do language activities and exercises to improve their English language. We have seen many kids improve in the short time, simply by having native English speakers present to listen to, talk to and learn from!

Our last Saturday, February 26, we are inviting the parents to come and listen to their kids sing and do short dramas in English. My class, the beginner advanced, 12-13 age group, are learning “Happy Day” by Tim Hughes! THEY LOVE IT and for me it is tonnes of fun because I get to challenge them in class!

I have seen from this class that my students are so hungry to have me believe in them and love them for who God made them to be. I have 4 regular students, Volodya, Slavic, Tania and Marta, all of which were our English Students last spring when we were here doing our TESOL outreach. Please pray for them and their families, some are believers and some are not yet believers.  Just last Saturday when the girls were leaving I was saying goodbye and Tania lunged forward and gave me a huge hug! I was shocked – THAT IS NOT CULTURALLY NORMAL!!! And I praise God for what He is doing!

Homeless Ministry – GOD IS GREAT and has been blessing us with joy as we work on the streets two nights a week.  This ministry is not the easiest nor the most gratifying to our “instant result” mind set, but God’s heart is for the poor and needy, of spirit and physical circumstance. We have seen God do mighty deeds on the streets, mostly through equipping and encouraging the brother who we are working with. He has been serving these people for 2 years, since he was made new in Christ. He was a criminal before that and naturally has a heart for these people. We can see God raising him up to lead a ministry team and last night we brought two young adults from another church in Ternopil who are interested in serving with him.

IT IS SUCH A PRIVILEDGE TO BE A PART OF GOD EQUIPPING HIS CHURCH TO DO THE WORK OF THE MINISTRY!! One of the greatest needs in Ukraine is true unity between Christians and churches...and we are a part of the peacemaking process!

There have also been some of those that we serve express a desire to let God change them and take them out of such a life. We continue to pray for the Holy Spirit’s transforming power to work in each heart and life! He is able to give each of us new life and freedom in Jesus Christ!

Ministry to Seniors – We are going weekly to the Senior’s home just outside of the city. This has been SO wonderful, simply meeting new people who have no visitors and who are bed ridden. We have had many great conversations, learned about their lives and just loved them, sharing the message of Christ with them. Just last week God opened a door and we are now officially working with the Home’s psychologist, who is a missionary from another region in Ukraine. This already has been so blessed, as she knows who receives no visitors and who needs spiritual care.  

Last time we went to visit our “grandpa”, Sebastian Stephanavich, who is a war hero. I wrote about him in November. He was so excited to see us, just like old friends. He shared with us that he and his two friends had a wonderful time with us for Thanksgiving. He said something that really BLESSED us and is worth praising Jesus for. He said, “There was such a love and unity between all of you. We loved being with you. You all have the morality and brotherhood of the Communists!” We obviously laughed at the last sentence about Communists, but the truth is that in the USSR morality and “brotherhood” were high standards. PRAISE JESUS for this – John 17:21 – when we are one, the world will see Jesus and believe that God sent Him J!

This week we are going to the Seniors home to show the Jesus Film in Russian. We are excited to have another afternoon with our friends there!  

Local Church ministry – Two weeks ago we went on a weekend trip to help a village church. I wrote about this on my blog. Please check it out, as it was an experience worth sharing more about!  After being with the village church we stopped in a city called Chortkiv and ministered at a church that we have helped before. It was a powerful time of the family of God coming together. Each of our team shared about ourselves and God’s work in our lives and then a message was shared and received, hitting one of the unbiblical traditions common in Ukraine.

It was officially my first time leading worship in Russian!! Ahhhhh! I lead two worship songs and God came in great power as we lifted Him up in praise! For me that was a breakthrough as I was a little nervous to lead in Russian, but I am practicing J!

We return to Chortkiv this coming weekend to minister in the services. Their Pastor is in the USA, and asked us to help for a couple of Sundays. We love it because this church has such a love and passion for Jesus and is not bound by tradition or religious formalities. The life of God flows in this church and we are so thankful and blessed to be a part of their family for this time!

So that is the UPDATE J! For more info. Please check out the links below

OUTREACH PHOTOS: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=617310&id=741610340&l=0c6b78c59e

NEW YEARS AND MORE: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=607156&id=741610340&l=ad7cbbb502

I will be home in just under 2 months....wow.....until then we are continuing to receive and release God's presence here in Ukraine - TRANSFORMATION time! 

TONNES OF LOVE TO YOU ALL, Allison

Heroes of faith hidden in the village

Last weekend we went on a truly Ukrainian adventure. Imagine travelling back in time about 100, maybe 200 years....to rural life. To water that comes directly from a well. To food that has been grown and stored in all the old fashioned ways. To dishes being done by heating water on the big stove and without soap. To a toilet called an outhouse. To a village of 280 homes and families, mostly babushkas and dadushkas living the same way that they have for all their lives.

Here in this little village we were hosted by a hero of the faith. Baba Tania is her name. She is 85 years old, hunched over and can hardly hear. To have a conversation with her you have to YELL VERY LOUDLY. She is not inhibited from talking to everyone, however. She loves to talk of Jesus, she delights in sharing stories of faith and preaching the word of God.

Baba Tania was very disappointed when we told her that we were only able to stay for one night. We had come to her to lead the house church that meets in her home every Sunday. She also has run a children's ministry in her home for years and years and is still the host. She told us, "I want you to stay longer with me.., but my daughter tells me that I need to stop trying to tell people what to do!"

It was delightful to be with them. "Them" being the neighbours who came over to eat and talk with us all. These dear people, who are bonded because their share their lives together, are also a family in Christ because of the live and endurance of this "Baba" who has held the word of God and love of Jesus high in her small secluded village in rural Ternopil region. The service on Sunday was unique indeed. We all shared from our hearts and were delighted to partake in the Word of God and singing praise to Him in a very Ukrainian way (singing in that special melody and tone that is sung in Ukrainian cultural songs!!)

Unfortunately all of our photos somehow got erased....I wanted to be able to show you the face of a hero....but you will simply have to take my word that she is :)

Again, I was reminded of how vital our relationships are in life. And I was burdened to see the great need for encouragement in the rural communities all over the world, especially in nations where technology has not reached the villages. The young people were so thankful that we were there too - simply to talk to others and to hear our stories.

It is certainly NOT a waste of time to go to the undesirable rural places for the love and sake of Christ. He is there too...and there are precious people there waiting to receive His love, encouragement and relationship!

God - raise up rural missionaries right in their own towns, like Baba Tania, who will stay and declare the glory of the Lord. Send others to go as encouragements and messengers :)

Giving Our Bread to the Poor

You may or may not ever had read Isaiah 58. If you have, you know it is one of the main biblical texts that explains fasting God's way. If you haven't - you need to - it is awesome to see what God's standard is for something that we all have our own definition for. Fasting. 

This is not a post about fasting. Well, not really, anyways. 

This is a post about feeding the homeless and poor. Which, if you read Isaiah 58, is a part of God's fast. (I won't get into it!!) Personally this has been miraculous in that when we fast as a team, we literally are saving our budgeted money for that day and saving it to buy food that we get to prepare and serve to the homeless and poor of Ternopil. It excites me to think of what and how God will work in and through this! 

Our team here in Ternopil, Ukraine had prayed and asked God where and what He wanted us to do during our 3 month outreach phase. A number of people on the team heard and received direction from the Holy Spirit to work with homeless poor. (We had met a number of them while we were weekly in the city sharing Jesus' love with people.)

I know - this is old news for those of you who read my posts and updates. BUT what is not old news is what has been happening in the process of ministering to and beginning to love these people. 

Last week, Ukrainian Christmas Eve, we were handing out the food we had prepared, pouring tea, and giving special sweet bags that we had made for Christmas and nice new clothes. It was not really an "easy" night to be brief. Lots of the people were drunk, some were stirring up strife. Others were almost trying to climb over us to get to the food - ha ha ha - fun times! We sang a Ukrainian carol and we all forgot the last lines! Good thing everyone here loves to sing - they lead us strong in the end!

After the large crowd dispersed, usually there are at least 10 -15 people that come to get food and leave and don't like to stay to talk, pray, receive ministry, etc., we were standing in the cold night talking and praying for people who wanted prayer. 

One dear lady probably in her 60s, originally from Russia, started blessing us and thanking us. She said, "Seeing you here makes me so joy-full. I will pray that there will be more and more young people like you in Ukraine and all over. Coming here to help us. Not all wrapped up in the things that most people are wrapped up in. We need more people like you. I wish that I would have known Jesus and lived for Him when I was your age. If so, I may not be in this state."  (This woman is a sturdy character - very dear.)

We assured her that it is not too late for God to work in her life. Jesus bring hope to the hopeless. I was awestruck by God's goodness to bless us through this dear lady's words and gratitude, not even to us, but to the God who has made and caused us to love Him and love others.

To you, this might just seem like words that she shared with us. But in that moment, we were standing there in awe and being totally blessed by God that the people that we felt needed us, we actually need as well. We needed her encouragement, we needed to see that the only thing that separates us from these people that society rejects and writes off is our own prejudice and pride.

Jesus loves and died for these precious ones and they might be stuck in their mess, but God's hand is not too short that He can not save and deliver!  

We have been in awe at the relationships that we are making and as we become a part of this street church. Really it is amazing! These people come to be fed physically and spiritually. And they are so eager to ask for prayer, to pray together, they hear a message, ask questions, comment, share, etc. I realized that these ones probably hear God's word more than most "nominal" Christians - they are in church most nights on the street! 

AMAZING! 

I am convinced that amidst this group of babushkas, alcoholics, drug addicts, street people, young and old, are some radical disciples of Jesus! We get to know them and love them in the process - glory to God! 

The Ins and Outs of the TEAM

This outreach experience has been very different from what I had expected. To imagine that I am living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed and cooking and eating in the same kitchen, yet I am on my 3 month practical work is a bit weird for me. I know that God has caused us to remain here, as He has confirmed it in prayer to our entire team and we all have peace about the ministry that we are doing. I guess for me it is fairly “normal” everyday life – loving and seeking Jesus and loving and serving people in His name. By the grace of God this is how I live life whether in Canada or Guatemala, yet I am doing it in another new culture and language.

For me the greatest challenge has been being culturally and linguistically immersed. It is different this time – mostly because I am used to being in a warm culture and live out my life in such a way and it is definitely a COLD culture here in Ukraine!! (warm and cold cultures relate to how people interact, communicate, etc.)  I have been amazed at how differently we all like to do things and having lived with various roommates and families in the past I understand that we all have our own nuances about daily life, tie four other cultures into the knot and you got an interesting situation. It has given way to many good conversations about culture, respect, loving one another, conflict, having differences and respecting them, etc.  It is also interesting in that our age range is fairly small. We are mostly in similar life stages and have all been Christians for at least 7 years.  Personality wise, we all get along and enjoy each other’s humour and hearts. It is a gift from God!

I can genuinely say that I love my team. We are a family. We enjoy being together, praying together, talking about God and His word together, laughing together, cooking and cleaning together, loving and serving others for Jesus together – you get the idea J Yet there is a level where I feel like my own culture inhibits me from connecting with them on a deeper level because there are barriers in the way we think. And if barriers in the way we think, barriers in the way we understand each other and then treat each other.  How I have become acquainted with the independent spirit and mentality that has shaped me as a North American. A year ago I never knew that it was so resilient – for positive and for negative. My prayer has been and remains that every bit of independence and resistance to others (aka – PRIDE) would be transformed into true interdependence with the Holy Spirit first and my co-labourers and family members in the Gospel second.

Our team :) about to enjoy North American Christmas meal :)

And as much as I desire that every barrier be destroyed I am realizing a valuable truth. Jesus likes that we are all different – He made us that way. It is not wrong to be different. Being uniform in thinking, culture, dress, custom, culture, etc. is NOT what unites us and brings us into oneness. The Love of JESUS CHRIST is the only thing that brings us into true unity and oneness. For His love to dwell in our midst we must actually acknowledge our differences and not try to conform to another’s standards, but recognize that we are all who we are, yes in process, and yes, being changed and transformed into the likeness of Christ, yet unique in that process.

The world will look at us and see our love for one another and know that God sent Jesus into the world. That does not mean that they will look at us and we will all look the same. That means that they will look at us in our radical differences and see that there is a genuine supernatural love that we have for one another as walked out in our actions, words and lifestyles and they will see that ONLY GOD can unite these people and give them such a love. ONLY JESUS’ love is this powerful.

In the midst of learning to work as a team, failing at it, repenting and trying again to with one heart feed the homeless, love the poor, the alcoholic and drug addict, share Christ with the every day “Joe”, bring joy to children through English classes, etc.  I am left crying out to God to truly live and experience more of His love through the cross of Jesus Christ and His Spirit that lives in my heart and life. I am becoming more desperate to live in the love of God than ever, as I realize how far away I am from what Jesus has purchased for me! Yet in hope I know that His grace is bringing it to pass!

Our team sharing Christmas Eve with some of the brothers who feed and minister to the homeless and two of the guys who receive ministry. It was a blessed time to rejoice in the Lord in the freezing cold night - he he he - JESUS is born and we are family because of Him! 

the lady in the red scarf

Picture it....a Turkish guy, a Kazakhstani girl and me walking around our Ukrainian city seeking God's heart for the homeless. Praying. Listening to God's voice. Obeying Him. None of us at this point have worked with the homeless in Ternopil yet. Only one of us can speak Russian, the second can speak enough Russian to translate between me and the non-English speaking team mate. Talk about learning to work together - he he! We are on a "spiritual scouting" mission.

Holy Spirit leads us to the train station. There are people everywhere and we ask a lady that has a booth to sell food and drinks outside if she knows where the homeless people "hang out". (I use that term loosely...they aren't really hanging out - they have no where else to go!) This lady tells us that they are around, we just need to find them and they usually don't come to the train station until later in the evening. She gave us a hint, however. All homeless people in Ternopil wear scarves! She told us to look for the scarves.

We decid to continue praying, seeking God and we enter the train station, just to walk around and pray for the homeless people that would be going there in a few hours. We pray for the ministries that minister and reach out to the homeless people and we sit down on some benches where most of them are full of people waiting for their trains to wherever they are going.

Right across from us is a lady with a long coat and a red scarf. She is sleeping. Our Turkish teammate says, "Hey, maybe she is homeless." I respond with laughter, because by this point this team member has thought that at least 5 people that we have seen have been homeless (most of which were seniors - babushkas - from the village). We talk about how just because someone might look "homeless" in our opinion, does not mean that they are homeless. Assumption.

This lady sitting next to us, "wakes up" and we realize that she is totally plastered drunk. And yes, she is homeless. We decide just to sit where we are and pray for her. She mocks us, even though we are not talking to her or anything, and acting up and then she gets up, stumbles around and approaches a lady for some money. This woman in the red scarf has very little physical control at this point and she gets quite close to the woman and invades her space.

To our surprise, the woman screams at the lady in the red scarf, hits and kicks her and pushes her to the ground with great anger and violence. We, seeing the entire thing, reacted right away and ran to the lady who is now prostrate on the ground and clearly in pain, felt or not due to her intoxication. We help her up and lead her to another seat to sit down. THE ENTIRE SECOND FLOOR WAITING ROOM JUST SITS AND WATCHES THE ENTIRE TIME AND MANY PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING. After we help the lady up, the people are laughing at us too, not to mention giving us that cold eastern European GLARE filled with shame!

We give the woman tissues to clean her bleeding cut on her brow from her fall. As we sit with her, all we can do is pray and she welcomes our prayer. As our one Russian speaking team member prays out loud, tears stream down the woman's face. From our point of view, we are helpless in serving this woman, as all we can offer her is Jesus through our prayer. Yet, with confidence we know that Jesus cares so deeply for this one and He is touching her through us in this short moment.

We go and buy her some bread to eat and just as we do the "police" or security show up. Now it is getting interesting! At this moment we realize that we need to go. We have done everything we feel that God sent us there to do. We get up and move, still staying in the train station to see how the police deal with this woman. Another hard situation to witness, but the reality of this woman. The police act very rudely and they call for one of the cleaners to come and "remove" her. They very obviously did not want to touch her or smell her. They are holding their coat collars up to their noses in a very demonstrative fashion to prove the point that this woman stinks.

We watch as they drag her out of the train station, forgetting her bread behind on the bench. Just as we go to get the bread to give to the lady, the woman appointed to remove the lady in the red scarf comes and retrieves the bread.

As we walk home, we pray for the lady in the red scarf, for the police, for the many bystanders and scoffers. We talk together and realize that we were not prepared to see and experience what we just saw and experienced. But it happened and it was an eye opener to how we can so easily judge, especially those despised and outcast, and how they need the same love and care that Jesus offers to us all so freely. Only if we are willing to identify with them in their humiliation and stand for them.

God's love in us and communicated through us for these ones (and all people) must outweigh our desire to retain any kind of reputation. I have re-learned again that all I have to offer of any lasting value to anyone, to society, is Jesus Christ. If there are things that stand in my way from sharing Jesus' life with others then it is rooted in my own pride to save myself and my reputation. Remembering what Jesus said, "Whoever saves their life, they will lose it; but whoever gives up their life for my sake and the sake of the gospel will find it."

I pray and believe God with all my heart that the lady in the red scarf will lose her present life of bondage and sin in Christ and find the life that He has planned for her. The power of the new creation.

We will see the lady in the red scarf tomorrow night again when we return to the train station with a local church outreach team to feed the homeless. What would I rather do this Christmas eve.....NOTHING!